True Pain
by PennyGirl
Summary: Kel reflects on the pain in her life, talks to herself in her head and realizes just how much it really hurt, compared to what she's going through now.


Disclaimer: I don't own PotS, and don't make money off of this story.

**True Pain**

During my four years of page training, I got into many fights. My first day as Raoul's squire, I received a beating from jousting that left me sore for three weeks. My first year of knighthood, I fought in the worse war imaginable, and defeated an enemy I had never even met. I've had nigthmare's where my family and friends are slaughtered before my very eyes. During my first five years after the war, my duty with border patrols, fights, the occasional deul, and even problems with wild horses, caused me to break my bones at least twenty times.

I have been attacked and given wounds by spidrens, rogue stormwings, taurus's, killing machines, bandits, griffins, mages, raiders, mer-people, centaurs. I have needed a healer after half of the battles I've fought. I've survived poisons thirteen times.

After the war, and rumor of my part in slowing it down somehow reached several of Maggot's followers, there were five assasination attempts. Once with an arrow, while on patrol. Once with a man, a knife, and my room while I was sleeping. Once with strange darts while hunting. Once with a mage trying to blow up a bridge I was helping to repair. And one even tried to send a rabid animal after me.

I have endured many wounds, and many illnesses. My life as a knight, especially the first female allowed to go through training, and my duties, have not been easy. My wounds, illnesses, fights, deuls, and assasination attempts have given me so much hurt, and so much to fight through, that sometimes I even wonder what it's all for.

I am a dedicated knight, and a loyal subject to my crown. I have bled for friends, family, soldiers, strangers, animals, and once, for some strange reason I can't recall, even stormwings. If ordered to, I would go into a suicidal battle with my sword drawn and try to win it because it would save those in need.

I do all this, and think all this, and go through all this, because I am a knight. Because it is what I have dedicated myself to.

War and battles have given me grief, and frustration, and impatience, and fears, and sadness, and so many other things I can't even describe or possibly even name.

My name is Keladry of Mindelan. I am thirty-three years old. I've been describing myself to you, who I guess is a part of my head I've never known about, that is looking in on me. I've been describing myself to you over and over for the past...oh...What? Twenty-three, probably twnety-two, hours? Are you impressed? Cause, if I was me, meeting me in my head for the first time, I might be. But than, wounds and pain and ilnesses were all things that I've seen before, so maybe I wouldn't be impressed with myself. Maybe I'd just think, so what? Big deal? Who cares? There are Yamani warriors and revolutionaries in other countries who go through much worsethan that.

But maybe you'd be impressed if, in case you hadn't noticed, I told you I was female. I mean, what with you being in my head and all, I didn't think you'd gotten a chance to see my physique. Which, at this moment, is covered with gross slime, lot's of sweat, lot's of water, and being crowded around by people, half of which, at this moment, I can't rememmber if I even know.

So, maybe you, the person in my head, would like to know that I have finally realized that, depsite battles, and illnesses, and ..._people. _I have never..

I have never...

Oh, dear gods! I've just realized that depsite all of my battles, and hardships, and trials, and tasks, and friends, and wounds, and...well, everything, I have never truly expereienced pain.

I have never experienced real, _true_, pain.

Until now.

This event in my life is making me realize that the pain from this experience can never truly compare to anything in my life that I have previously experienced up until now.

And now, if you, the person inside of my head, who is a part of me that I've nevr met, but has listened to me rant so nicely, will excuse me, I must now return to reality.

A reality with nothing in it right now but an extreme amount of pain.

* * *

"Come on Kel, breathe! Neal says you need to breathe!"

"Shut up, Dom! I am breathing! I've been breathing for the past twnety two bells!" Kel slammed her fist into the wall and barely noticed that the boards cracked. She breathed deep and hard and yelled various Yamani obscenities while Dom, next to her, held the hand not embedded into the wall and kept encouraging her to breathe.

Next to him sat Yuki, Neal's wife. She was dressed simply in a white cloth smock and was helping one of the midwives to spread a cooling poultice to Kel's abdomen. On the floor, Neal lay in a crumpled heap, and Kel's mother and one of her sister's struggled to wake him while the ten other people in the room, most of them healer's who had stepped in when Neal collapsed, crowded around Kel and kept telling her that she needed to have the baby cut out.

"Aaaahhhhh!! Everybody get out! Everybody out!" Kel yelled, removing her fist from the wall and throwing the wood that came with it at the heads of the healer's. Dom looked at her with wide, surprised eyes as she sat up and started tyring to push away the midwives spreading the poutlice. She grabbed a pillow and threw it at the healer's surrounding her bed. "I want all you out! Right now!"

Marlcon, the healer in charge after Neal, just stared at Kel coldly. "Lady knight, you know that we cannot do that. You need help. You have been in labor for far too long. You need us here. You need us to remove that baby."

Kel glared at the healer and fell back in the pillows of the bed. She sighed sadly and griped Dom's hand hard as another contraction hit. Tears of pain fell down her cheeks and she leaned over into Dom's shoulder and sighed in frustration. Thinking she had calmed down from her moment of rage, the midwives and Yuki leaned in and continued to spread more of the poultice. The healer Marlcon walked forward and and moved several healer's out of the way and sat next to Kel opposite Dom. "Lady knight," he said softly, "We need to do this. We need you to let us do this. We know best. We are the healers, after all."

Kel sniffed and Dom winced as Kel's arms that had been encircling his stomach for a hug of comfort, suddenly squeezed him in a bone crushing grip that had him gasping for breath. Obviously she was having another contaction. A few moments later, she released her grip and continued to lean against Dom for comfort.

Marlcon put a comforting hand on Kel's shoulder. "Lady Knight, let us do our job."

"No," Kel said. Her hand gripped something on Dom's belt and she turned around and shoved the healer away, brandishing a dagger to keep everyone back. She sat up straight in bed and said, calmly and coolly, "I want everyone out. Even my parents. Now."

The healers and others in the room stared at her in shock and disbelief. Some even began to think of trying to subdue and drug her.

Dom saw these looks on their faces, and looked at Kel, and the look on her face, and said, loudly, as if giving an order to troops who weren't listening, "Do as she says, everyone out, now."

"But-" Marlcon began.

Doms stood to his full height and glared down at the shorter man as he rested a supportive hand on Kel's shoulder. "She told you to leave, healer. Now _leave_."

The healers all puttered and glanced at each other worriedly until Ilane of Mindelan and her daughter stood up tall and proudly, smiled warmly at Kel, and left. When Yuki followed, the healers all rushed to the door and tried to get out before Kel threw the dagger at them. Marlcom just glared and gestured to Neal, still unconcious, the large jug she'd thrown at his head still sitting on it's side next to him. "What about him?" he asked stiffly.

Kel shrugged and Dom grinned. "Leave him, he'll wake up eventually."

Marlcon just huffed and slammed the door as he walked out.

Kel sighed and collapsed back on the bed, handing the dagger back to Dom and closing her eyes in tiredness. Than, after a few moments of silence, Kel opened her eyes and stared down at her round stomach. She placed her hand protectively over it and asked softly, "Why does it hurt so much?"

Dom smiled and sat next to her on the bed. "I don't know."

Kel sighed and smiled softly as Dom pressed a kiss to her sweaty forehead. He brushed her hair back and leaned his head against hers, resting a hand on her stomach over the one she had also placed there. "I'm tired," Kel whispered.

"I know," Dom said.

"Why won't it come out?"

Dom sighed, "I don't know."

Kel sighed and held in the need to whimper. "I want this to be over."

Dom hugged her. "Me, too."

Kel sighed and glanced at Neal. "Why won't he wake up?"

"I really don't know. Maybe you hit him too hard."

Kel sighed. "I don't want them to cut me open."

"Don't worry, they won't. I won't let them."

Kel nodded understanding and leaned into Dom's shoulder as another contraction came.

She and Dom lay in bed for nearly half an hour until they heard a rustling on the floor. Kel and Dom looked up to see Neal raise a hand to his head and moan in pain. "What happened?" He asked, sitting up.

Kel smiled, "Sorry, Neal. There an incident with the jug and your head."

Neal stood up and shook his head to clear it. He saw Dom and Kel on the bed, and the emptiness of the room, and confusedly asked, "Where'd everybody go? Did the baby come out yet?"

"No," Kel said sadly. She pulled away from Dom and pushed herself up to sit straighter. She looked at Neal with a serious look and said, "They want to cut me open, they said that the baby won't come out naturally."

Neal blanched in surprise. Than he turned red in anger. Than after a few moments, he stepped over to the bed and softly placed his hands on Kel's abdomen, his hands glowing with his gift. He frowned and than removed his hands. He smiled down at Kel reassuringly and rolled up his sleeves. "The healer's are idiots," he said. "I can get the baby to come out without cutting you open."

"How?" Kel asked.

Neal washed his hands and dried them off. "I need to turn the baby."

"What?" Dom asked.

Neal nodded to himself and moved to Kel's legs. "Kel, I need you to let me reach inside and turn the baby around. It's legs are in the wrong place. That's why it's not coming out."

Kel stared at Neal in shock and Dom asked, "If you turn it, will it come out?"

Neal nodded. "Yes."

Kel sighed. "Fine, do it. I want this baby out of me. And you're the only one I trust to get it out."

"Alright, let's get started," Neal said, pulling up the sheet and reaching for Kel's legs.

Dom squeezed Kel's hand reassuringly as Neal reached inside her and she winced in pain. "You're going to be fine. Everything will be fine."

And an hour later, it was.

Everyone standing outside the room looked at the door in surprise as Neal stepped out, his hands bloody and a grin on his face. "It's a girl. Kel and Dom have a girl."

Ilane smiled and sat back in her chair in relief as her daughter next to her smiled and hugged a grinning Yuki who was giving Neal an approving look. Neal smiled back. Than he walked up to Ilane and told her, "She wants to see you. She wants you to see the baby."

Ilane smiled and pulled herself out the chair and towards the door. She stopped next to Neal and hugged him gratefuly. "Thank you," she said softly. "For helping my daughter."

Neal smiled. "It's the least I could do, after all she's done for me."

Ilane smiled and walked into the room.

In the bed, rosy cheeked and smiling happily up at Dom, was Kel. A swaddling wrapped bundle in her arms. "Hello, mother," she said softly. "Come meet Deania, your granddaughter."

Ilane smiled and came over to the bed. There, she was able to see the baby for the first time. Kel smiled up at her and handed her the child.

Ilane smiled down into the face of her new granddaughter and smiled as the baby girl gurgled and looked up at her with one blue eye and one hazel eye. Soft brown hair covered her head in tufts, and her skin was a soft rosy peach. "Hi," Ilane said softly. "My name's Ilane. I'm your grandmother."

The baby gurgled and Ilane smiled. Than she looked up at Dom and said, "I expect you to marry my daughter now, you know."

Dom smiled. "Don't worry, I intend to." He smiled at Kel and squeezed her shoulder softly. "And I'm never letting her go."

Kel smiled. "Damn right you're not."

Ilane smiled and handed the baby back to Kel. "She's beautiful. I love her already."

Kel smiled. "Me too."

"I'll let you rest now."

"Alright," Kel said, smiling down at her duaghter.

After Ilane had shut the door, Kel smiled lovingly at her child, and than at Dom. "Knighthood could never top this."

Dom smiled and pressed a kiss to Kel's forehead. "I love you, Kel."

"I love you too, Dom."

Kel smiled down at her baby. "And I love you, Deania."

The baby just gurgled and closed her eyes in sleep. Kel than smiled wider and said, "Even though you did cost me over twenty hours of horrifying pain."

Dom laughed and hugged Kel happily as their baby daughter slept soundly in Kel's arms.

Hours later, Kel would look down at the baby in her arms and smile she stared back up at her with wide eyes. "You, my dear," Kel said softly, "You are worth all of the pain in the world."

She looked up at Dom, who was sleeping soundly in the corner and said, "_Both of you_, are worth any pain, in any world."

Than Kel smiled again, and leaned back in her pillows for a small night of sleep. Glad that the pain of this horrible and happy day, was finally over.

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A/N: I hope you liked it! Maybe I'll write more lIke it, Maybe not. Who knows? Read and Review. I'd really appreciate it.

---Love, Pennygirl


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